Welcome to this new year! Is it just me or does it already feel like there is momentum building for this year? I have this felt sense this week that I would liken to the sensation of an aircraft waiting to take off. Do you feel that too?
Welcome to today’s dose of wisdom.
I encourage you to keep on sending me your questions – things that you ponder: tools you want in your toolkit to make life and relationships smoother.
Today we are talking about:
Why therapy is valuable?
Some people come to therapy because they are clear on what they want to work through. Others come because they are dragged in by a partner or come without really knowing what to talk about or why. Some people ask me when they arrive “how is talking about stuff going to help?” or “how is this different to talking to my mates?”
The answer is here:
Coming to therapy provides you with a completely neutral space to sit in with a trained person who can assist you to take inventory of various parts of your life.
It is a space unlike any other relationship in your life. You get to explore your inner thoughts without having to worry about how it may be received by others (who you may know or those who may have a personal opinion or investment in what you say or how you think).
It is a space to talk about what is working and what isn’t. A space to gain a new perspective, insight, direction or skill.
Sometimes when we are deep in our own hole, it is hard to zoom out and look at the whole terrain. It is hard to find an alternate view. This is the beauty of therapy.
The other gift of therapy is the experience of being deeply listened to, seen and heard in a way that doesn’t generally happen in ordinary life. That alone can be a corrective and healing experience for many.
Therapy is also valuable because through the therapeutic process you can make links between past experiences and current functioning. It can help answer the question of “how did I end up here?” and “how or where do I pivot from here?”
It can also help make sense of what is unfolding in our life.
Gestalt theory talks of the “Paradoxical Theory of Change.” This theory speaks of how when we get clearer on what is so, that process in itself, can create change. All of these are the gifts of therapy.
You keep asking, I will answer.
Warmly,
Mel
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